Once upon a time there was a world full of colours
Each of these dots shone their colours brightly and magnificently
They would spend their time playing, talking, working…doing what colours do
They were happy
Sometimes two colours would meet, and they would like each other’s colour
Sometimes they would fall in love.
When they did, they were happy…
Because often, the colours would get confused
After being together for so long, they would start to believe that they needed the other colour
If the other colour was missing, they would feel all sorts of emotions, like sadness and loneliness
They would also start to believe that because they needed the other colour, it was also the other colour’s responsibility to complete them
Or other times, one colour would ask the other dot to be a different colour all together
This illusion was so great, that sometimes the colours started to believe in it
They believed that they were incomplete
But all of this made no sense at all
No other colour could complete their colour, but themselves
And often they had forgotten the most important truth of them all…
They were complete in the first place.
When two dots fully embrace both their own and each other’s colour
When they both fully realise that they are already complete
Only then can they start to create a strong and unique colour when together
This is a beautiful thing
Even when alone
They are still shining brightly and magnificently in their own colour
Be your colour.
It is so easy for us to fall into this relationship trap.
If your answer to why you are with your partner is: “because I’m not happy if I’m not with them”, you need to have a long, hard look at your relationship.
Conversely, if you are single and your answer to why you want a relationship is along the lines of “because I’m lonely/because I want to feel safe/because I want to feel [insert your need here]”, again, you need to have a rethink.
In Ram Dass‘ own words:
“…often, we come into a relationship very much identified with our needs at some level or other. “I need security, I need refuge, I need friendship.” We come together because we fulfill each other’s needs at some level and the problem is that when you identify with that, those needs, you always stay at the level where the other person is “her” or “him” that is satisfying that need….” (Original article here)
And the problem is, you never grow as a couple. You get stuck into a cycle of attachment and suffering because you believe your partner’s life duty is to forever satisfy your need.
Except it isn’t their duty to.
Remember it’s NOT your partner’s job to make you happy.
It’s your job to make yourself happy.
If you feel incomplete without your partner, remember that you are under a temporary spell.
You are actually complete just the way you are, on your own.
You just need to re-find the beauty that lies deep inside.